Never give up

Life has been all kinds of topsy turvy for a long while now. I'm just getting back into working on my health, weight loss and fitness again and this has been on my heart lately. Something I need to remind myself, and something I find myself repeating often.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9

I love this Bible app btw!


It doesn't matter where we started, where we were, or where we wish we were. As long as you do the best you can with what you have right now, you are always winning. Keep jumping those hurdles, busting through those brick walls and overcoming obstacles, because one day soon, if you do not give up, you will reap a harvest of blessings. And my friend, you and I are worth it.

That's life...

June 12, 2015...Well hello there! I totally forgot about this blog until I was reminded today via the awesome TimeHop app. Yes, its been 4 long years. Where have I been you ask?

Actually not much has changed. Still haven't been running, still dealing with post concussion syndrome-silly me, I thought it would only last a few weeks! HA!) I've learned a lot about myself & my faith in these years. God has taken me on quite a ride but I'm wearing my seat belt so it's all good!

I've battled with food my entire life. I know now that I need to focus on my food issues & not sweep it under the exercise. Because you never know if that exercise will be swept out from under your feet for one reason or another. (It was for me) Whatever life stuff comes up, eating all my emotions & stress only makes it worse. Its funny how you can know the sense of something but it's still so foreign to you.

So I guess you can say my biggest fear (noted in my post below ) has come true. I have gained back almost all the weight I lost. But I'm still here. Still trying my best to reach my goals in-between the bumps.

Life has bumps. There's no getting away from that. If you are doing the best you can where you are- you are always winning. Life is always changing and God is always good.
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Aug 2011 post... I should rename this blog to Fat Girl Sitting. That's what I've been doing most of the time since I started this. Ironic how I started this blog a couple days after my concussion. It's defiantly been a very long and emotional journey so far. I've had a few weeks sprinkled in where I thought I was finally getting better and so elated. I jumped back into exercising with almost as much vigor as someone lost in the desert feels when they finally stumble upon water. Then after a week of activity I get kicked down again. I"m defiantly done with this cycle. Last couple weeks I was able to run several times, go biking, long walks and even do a bellyfit class. It is my nature to push myself (who knew??!) so every time I think I can exercise I undoubtedly overdo it but it doesn't show until many days later. By then its too late. Last Friday I didn't drink enough water and I got somewhat dehydrated. NOT a good thing especially when that was a pretty good exercise week too. Well Bam! I'm back on my butt again. I am just not doing well with all this. Funny thing is if I wasn't trying to be active again then I would be recovered already! Perseverance....

1 step forward, 3 steps back

Well I'd like to say that I have been doing well and back to life as usual. I guess my "usual" life anymore means upheaval so technically it is "usual".  I was really feeling good last weekend and even got up at 5am on Saturday with less than 5 hours of sleep. I was super happy and excited I couldn't sleep. Why you ask? Because I actually felt good for the first time in a long time. I needed to get up and DO something after 3 weeks of sitting on my butt all day. The sun was shining, my husband woke up in a good mood because I was so "chipper", went to breakfast with my 2 favorite boys then on to some garage saling. We were out and about most of the day running errands and stuff. How sad is that to be happy just to be able run errands?! lol But I was getting around the stores almost like normal. We bbq'ed and enjoyed the warm weather in the evening. Almost forgot about the concussion. It was a good day. We had  fun on the 4th and all the days in between were pretty good too. Although I was never able to sleep more than 5 or so hours each night. Tuesday we ended up going on a beautiful hike. Started off intending to go only 2-3 miles but it ended up being 6+ miles by the time we got back to the car. Defiantly not prepared for that with only one water bottle among us, not to mention the 3+ hours of walking. The plus side is I got over 20,000 steps that day~my all time high record!! It was an enjoyable and fun time despite the unplanned extension of our journey. But the next day my body took a major crash. I woke up in a heavy cloud of exhaustion. My head felt pressure which reminded me of the previous weeks. Obviously that hike was too much too soon. I slugged my way through the day wishing for a caffeine IV. The many cups of coffee I drank didn't do a thing. Fell into bed around 8pm and awoke this morning still feeling exhausted, not quite as bad as the day before but still enough to make the day more challenging. Along with the exhaustion accompanied a headache that has stayed with me all day despite the Advil I"ve been downing. So its like 1 step forward and 3 steps back. Any time I feel better and attempt to do something I get set back. I must admit I am feeling very depressed, discouraged and frustrated right now. I don't know when I will ever be able to run or Zumba again. Heck I'd even be happy with regular walking at this point. Anything I can do consistently. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my injury. How many more till I can exercise like I'm used to? Will I ever be able to? God only knows. I am really feeling the stress of life building up as I have been so sedentary for so long. Exercise has always been my best stress reliever. I'm up 7 lbs, can't exercise, obviously can't manage my food well (especially when I'm feeling extra stressed & emotional).  This rut I"ve been in has been going on since April. Hello, its July. What the heck?? I can't do any of the runs I"ve signed up for, including the half marathon. That alone is enough to make me want to eat an entire chocolate cake. (I'm not signing up for any more events. I've already wasted too much money on one's I've had to miss.) Why is it things come so easily to some and others have to bust their butts? I"m tired of being the nice helpful supportive person and I always get crapped on. I can't always be happy, upbeat and positive. I honestly don't know how some people can do it even  when things always seem to be against them. I'm defiantly not one of those people as much as I wish I was. I know many others have way more hardships but I deserve to be able to acknowledge that I'm tired of having my life on hold. There is always something. So much going on in my life aside from my exercse that needs my attention and focus as well. I feel like a failure. Lord help me because I'm losing my mind. In the meantime you can find me in the pit of despair.

Getting back into life

Well it's July 1st. 3 weeks since my stupid head incident. It's a new month and I'm feeling really good, despite the fact that I hit my head again on Wednesday!! Yup, that's what I said. AGAIN! I have gone almost 40 years without any real head injuries and then 2 within 3 weeks. What is wrong with me??!! I was without Advil for 24 hours in case of bleeding. That SUCKED!! I've come to the official conclusion that I've been suspicious of all along. Tylenol just does not work for me. Anyway, today I am feeling really quite good for the first time in a long time. I was able to run errands after work and it's past 10pm and I'm still up!! That's a good sign because I'm usually going to bed by 8pm at the latest these last few weeks. Just so dang exhausted. My son is tucking me in! lol He's such a sweet kiddo. Love him to pieces!! Well now that I'm coming out of this fog and feeling like I'm getting back into my life again I can see all the stuff I have neglected. Like housework. Ugggggg. I think I'll be spending a month just getting on top of everything. I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm still up 6 lbs. Grrr!! NOT good. I have really been struggling being so messed up with all this concussion stuff and it's been super hard to try and stick with anything and of course still haven't been able to do much exercising. Tomorrow I am planning on a Leslie dvd and also a LOT of housework. I'm aiming for 6,000 steps tomorrow. I need to get back up to 10,000+ that I was doing pre concussion. Today I got in the 4,000's so that's a start. I need to start syncing my fitbit again on facebook too. I love my fitbit by the way!! It has really helped keep me motivated. A Christmas gift that keeps on giving! So I am setting a goal of losing 15-20 lbs by the end of Summer. I really really really NEED to get this moving in the right direction. My jeans were feeling a bit tight today and that's just not acceptable. It's so easy to gain the weight back and let it get carried away. I've already let it go in the wrong direction too long. Now if life will just cooperate for awhile so I can stay focused... lol Yeah, right!! I feel like God is slapping me upside the head trying to tell me something. I hope I got it cuz my head is tired of hurting!!! Well off I go to rinse the color off my hair. A fresh new color for a fresh new start... Happy Independence Day America!!!!!!

Baby steps

Well today is the day. The day I get serious again about my health. I really have no choice. I cannot allow myself to go backwards. I won't be that person again, and that's exactly where I'm headed if I don't stop right now. So I started back to the WW points plus plan today. So far so good. Now if I can just make sure to log my food for the entire day and not slack off towards the end I'll be good. I always start the day with good intentions but right about late afternoon or into the evening I fall off completely. Tracking is so important. Otherwise I'll eat a bite here, there, and soon have eaten another entire meal worth of calories without realizing. It's so easy to fall off the wagon. It's just a bumpy ride. Getting back on, and staying on for any length of time, is like riding a bull.

I've been feeling pretty good today so I decided to attempt a Leslie Sansone workout dvd. My first workout of any kind in 17 days. Normally I would call this a "non workout" because it's way less intensity than I'm used to doing but naturally I have to start off small. I was surprised and actually quite pleased that I was able to complete the entire 30 minute workout (with some minor modifications) without feeling too terrible. Although after I got downstairs I was noticing my head pounding a bit so I had to lay on the couch for awhile. Slow baby steps.... I'm not good at that but if I want to get back to running and my favorite killer Zumba class I have to take it slow. And I am going to get back to my super sweaty, heart pumping, high intensity, push myself, feel the burn workouts. Won't be tomorrow or even next week but I will get there. I love them too much not to.

:(

2 weeks and I'm up 6 lbs. Haven't lost any weight in months. Still can't exercise. Starting to feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Seems every time I try to do something, something else happens to push me back. Weight, ankle, work, self esteem, family, concussion, life... Staying positive just gets harder.

Concussions ~ Part Deux

Well it's been almost 2 (very loooooooooong I might add) weeks. Last Wednesday was my only good day and I did way too much. It went down hill from there and by Friday I wasn't doing well at all. Had to put a call in to the Dr. and ended up pretty much on bed rest for the weekend. I have been trying really hard to not over do it since then. It's so hard!! But today I am feeling sooooooooo much better!! Thank you Lord! Now if it just keeps going in that direction I will be super dooper happy!!

It's been 12 days with no exercise and very little activity. I never thought I'd miss exercising so much! I need to take things slow and not jump back into everything right away. Still not 100% but getting there. I hope to start doing some lighter exercise next week, like Leslie dvd's. Then if all goes well I should be back to running the first weekend of July! I'm sure I will need to work my way back up to 5 miles after being so sedentary for 3 weeks. Ugh. My 8k is the 17th so that only gives me 2 weeks. Hmmm. I'll just have to take it as it comes and hope and pray I can still do it, even if I can't run the entire thing.

It's been hard not getting really discouraged with the set backs but I am determined to keep pushing on. Unfortunately things are going to come up that will throw me off track, that's life. But if I let the disappointment and frustration win, I will never reach my goals. It's not easy but nothing worth having ever is. I'm just taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best.

This past Saturday was our 14 year anniversary. <3 Since I was basically restricted to the couch all weekend, my sweet hubby made dinner. :) He also got me the Under Armour running hat I've been wanting (and a lucky bamboo plant~ he said I can use all the luck I can get! lol). He (also) said he has faith in me and knows I will be back up and running soon. Aww. He's a keeper. Can't wait to put it to use!!